Fatigued Sunday mornings. The perfect chance to do nothing and everything all at the same time, and one of the most eventful days of the week for any female in her prime. It was approaching noon and I was relishing in the unproductive joy that is the morning after party mode. It was my turn to provide the hangover brekky, so I was making French toast (with fresh roma tomatoes and shallots) for our girly brunch. We, as per usual, had all congregated for a “debrief”, still decked out in pajamas and remnants of black eyeliner that the drunken eye had missed during 5am removal.
The weekly Sunday debrief is always a detailed low down on the previous night’s festivities, a chance to exchange stories, examine stiletto damage and discover newly saved numbers in our phones.
We would flabbergast about one of my friend’s “flavours” (whom most would refer to as a crush, but we think the title crush takes the upper handway from the woman so we have conveniently labelled it “flavour of the week”) who had FINALLY kissed her the night before, cacked ourselves at some of the ridiculous things that various drunk boys had said, scorned ourselves for eating copious amounts of McDonalds and dissected the who had danced with who situation – dishing all the important and unimportant gossip of the weekend. Typical girls’ sesh, Minus the weed. Sex and the City style. Except our outfits didn’t cost $5,000. And we were plonked on the floor of my bedroom.
My one friend kept kind of quiet. I was unsure if she was just tragically hungover and yearning for her bed, or if something was actually bothering her. Finally, when we began the detailed discussion about my friend’s night smooch, our quiet buddy made a comment.
“Ah I am so jealous! I miss being single.”
Missy has been with her boyfriend for a long time. They are one of those serious couples who are so in love, in sync and in preparation for marriage. Most single girls want what they have, though it never occurred to me that she too might want what we have.
But I completely understood what she meant. I remember fretting for the excitement of crazy single life when I was tied down in a relationship. Like my friend had said, it really is a lot of fun to be single, especially if you’re a uni student at the same time. There are always a plethora of new flavours, mistakes, stalkers and drunken hookups that make for the most amusing and hilarious stories, and the freedom to do what (and even whom) you want. But the interesting thing about all this is that, as a single female in her 20s, a huge number want what our friend already has. Perhaps the whole reason a new man is so exciting is because we’re just imagining the potential for it to turn into a real, perfect relationship.
We all seem to want what we think we don’t have, and although my friend may miss the single life, she too has probably forgotten the downfalls of solo femme syndrome: the potentials who vanish off the face of the earth without a trace, the awkwardness of drunken hookups, the inability to demand your man punch your ex boyfriend in the face etc.
And how about the nights spent alone? With PMS. And junk food.
The truth is, many taken girls only see a small part of what it’s really like to be single and, from the comforts of their happy relationships, completely miss some of the reality to that. Obviously there are positive and negative aspects of being both single and in a relationship. It can be easy to envy the fast pace and instant hotness of a single girl’s life, or the stability of a coupled girl’s relationship.
Which brings me to the point, that there is entirely no point to this post.
Goodnight!
